Friday, March 9, 2012

Interval - Second Campaigner Challenge

Hi! It's been a while since my last post but I've been crazy busy. This is a last minute entry to Rachael Harrie's Second Campaigner Challenge. My previous campaign entry was shortlisted so I thought I'd give this one a go.

My preferred genre is fantasy, so this piece is a bit different from my usual work. The link to the challenge itself is here, including all the rules, etc. I wrote a 200 word flash fiction piece, using four of the five prompts. The prompts are as follows:

Prompt 1: 

Two people are sitting together under the remains of a concrete bridge. Their backs are against a rusted bridge support. One person’s leg is cut. The other person has wet hair. 

Prompt 2: 

(Source)
Prompt 3

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Prompt 4

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Prompt 5

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Interval

He was watching a drop of water form under the concrete bridge. It had been gathering for some time, growing almost imperceptibly. Soon it would fall, but for now it hung, motionless.

Across the river, some children were playing on the shore. Another child bounced a ball dully along the surface of the bridge overhead. They seemed removed, distant, outside of his bubble of stillness. An old man was walking further up the beach. He was shuffling slowly along, but edging incessantly closer.

The drop under the bridge support grew larger, swelling with the passage of time. The cut on his leg throbbed steadily with his pulse.

The figure beside him was still. His hair was still wet from the river, even though his lips had already started to turn a cold shade of blue. There were red marks on his throat, standing out starkly against his pale skin. The man resisted a sudden compulsion to fit his own hands to the marks, knowing they would match exactly.

The crunch of uncertain footsteps grew louder. They echoed strangely under the bridge, sounding muted and hollow. He turned towards the noise, and met wide and frightened eyes.

The drop fell.




Thanks for reading and don't forget to comment! If you'd like to vote for this story please click here, I'm #105.

20 comments:

  1. Oooo... Way to put us in the moment... You have a great eye for detail. I love how you centered things around the drop---clever. Off to "like" it ;) Great work :D

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    1. Thanks for the kind comment and the support!

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  2. Guess what? You've made it to the second round of judging. Congratulations! :)

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  3. I really enjoyed what you've done here with the water drop and what a wonderful way you weave your words. Great job!

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  4. I liked this a lot, you built the tension very subtly and it also makes the reader ask questions. Very nice!

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  5. Wow! I love your use of imagery with that water drop - its very powerful and beautifully written! Bravo!

    I'm on my way to vote for you!

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  6. Excellent imagery, the suspense of the water droplet about to fall, the hint that the one man had strangled the other. Well done!

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  7. Eerie, account of murder! Well done Sorcha!

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    1. Thanks! I loved your take on the prompts as well :)

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  8. You've created a great feeling of atmosphere in just a few words. Nice one :-)

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  9. Hey, just letting you know I've tagged you in the Lucky 7 meme and there's some questions too. Details at my blog! :)

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  10. You've been tagged to join the Great Star Wars Blogathon! Details here: http://www.troublewithroy.com/2012/03/so-you-say-youve-got-this-idea-on-how.html

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