Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Darkness Comes

Ok, so Rachael Harrie's First Campaigner Challenge is running all this week, until Friday February 24th.

 The Challenge is:
Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count. 
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!

I'm posting my story below. If you read it and you like it, please click here and vote for #89. Thanks!


 Darkness Comes

Shadows crept across the wall behind her. They shifted and churned, vying with each other, edging irresistably forwards like the tide.

She felt them, even though she could not see them. She could almost hear them, whispering on the edges of her consciousness. They were always there, always creeping behind her. Some days they grew closer than others.

The two women were seated across from her, talking. Sometimes they glanced in her direction. They did not meet her gaze. Were they talking to her, or about her? She didn’t care. It was so hard to hear them when the shadows were whispering.

She watched them contemptuously, their nervous chatter grating against her hearing. They were pretending not to hear their own shadows, trying to drown them out with meaningless noise. The desperate undertones in their conversation both amused and annoyed her at the same time.

The shadows surged closer, clouding the edges of her vision. She could hear them clearly now, their seductive voices stroking her thoughts.

The women stopped talking as she began to smile.

She stood up. They had taken her weapons, but that did not matter. She would make them face the darkness.

The shadows danced. 



Don't forget to comment! Want to vote for this story? Please click here. I'm #89, thanks!

26 comments:

  1. Whoa that was intense! I just loved the fact that she was the only one who could see the shadows. "She would make them face the darkness." That line gave me chills. Great job!!

    I'm entry #19

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  2. That was some excellent imagery, there. Nice one! :)

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  3. Oooh! That was creepy! I want to know what happens next! Nice job! :)

    I'm #37

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  4. Always loved the image of dancing shadows.

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  5. Gave me shivers to read - excellent job with imagery and tone. Well done!

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  6. You've made me curious for more.

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  7. Well done! Love your take on the challenge. Good luck!

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  8. Ooh, very mysterious. Would love to see more!

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  9. Thanks very much for all the supportive comments!

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  10. Hi Sorcha, I'm stopping by for the first time from the Fantasy group. Love this entry, it's nice and creepy :D. I would like to vote for it, but can you tell me what number your entry is? Thanks!

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  11. Hi Rebekah, I'm number 89. Thanks for the support!

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  12. All this shadow talk and darkness has really been making ME fear my own shadow. The darkness already creeps me out. LOL. Great job!

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  13. Cool, I liked that! An interesting take on the challenge.

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  14. Crazy is as crazy does. Nice job. Mine is #71

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  15. Very spooky! I like the little mention of weapons towards the end - seems like there is a fight in store. Nice supernatural tone to this one.

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  16. Ooh that was creepy in a really good way! Great voice! Mine is #82

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  17. Thanks again for all the great comments!

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  18. Shadows being aware...always a great way to go somewhere different.

    Tale Spinning #58

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  19. I really enjoyed the imagery and voice in this piece. So much so that I've shortlisted you to go on to the next round of judging. Congrats and good luck in the next round. :)

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    1. That's great news! Thank you so much!! :)

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  20. Fantastic! Very well-written. Some shorter pieces tend to sound off, the word limit straining the idea of any musicality to the writing. But that's not the case here at all! Love it!

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  21. Creepy! I enjoyed the story Sorcha!

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